Out of the Office on Utopia of the Seas’ Maiden Voyage

Courtesy Royal Caribbean

I noticed a little boy, probably not more than three years old, grinning at me. He was proudly puffing out his chest to make sure I could read his T-shirt, which announced, “Ready for the Weekend!” Only three, and the grind of toddler life already has him chasing his next weekend.

THAT’S THE SPIRIT KID, and one that Royal Caribbean is banking on with more than $1 billion invested in Utopia of the Seas, an 18-deck glittering cruise ship masterpiece promising the best weekend parties with something for everyone. Sailing from Port Canaveral, less than an hour from Orlando, a 3- or 4-night “weekend” cruise is less of a commitment in both time and money and will leave guests with just a taste, wanting more. More to see, more to do, more memories to make—I mean, aren’t we all ready for more weekends? I know I’ve been waiting my whole life for this weekend. I’d be on my first big assignment, aboard Utopia of the Seas, Royal Caribbean’s newest and brightest ship, covering social media for the “World’s  BIGGEST Weekend Preview Party,” a 3-night extravaganza where special guests like yours truly would get an exclusive peek and party like rock stars!

I’d been hand-picked to meet Utopia in person, undoubtedly chosen for my insight and cruising experience, or more likely it was my valid passport. It certainly wasn’t for my tech savvy.

Many of you who know me, know of my strained relationship with technology. I’m pushing 60 and I don’t know why it happens, but it does. Technology & I often find ourselves at odds. Our brand new Samsung TV and I fought it out a few months ago and spoiler. . . I lost. Samsung took the round, and sadly the TV. . . but that’s another story. For this assignment I was going to nail it! Armed with my almost new iPhone, I was going to crush some live content and be one of the first to get the exclusive peeks at Utopia. When our  hosts offered up production equipment to help capture this ultimate weekend at sea, I jumped at the chance. Sign me up! What type of equipment would I need? They wanted to know. “A GoPro? a GoPro Harness? Selfie Stick? Gimbal?” uhhhhh. . .Gimbal? Quickly googling Gimbal. It’s a device to help steady your camera when shooting videos. Nice. My panoramic, sweeping gimbal-guided videos were only a YouTube tutorial away. I pictured myself going pro with camera attached, flying down the Ultimate Abyss the 10- (TEN gasp!) 10-story slide – and landing on the Boardwalk for a carnival of delights— sweets in a rainbow of colors from Sugar Beach, a spin on the Carousel, Zoltar telling my fortune at the arcade, and of course a few draft beers at Playmakers.

With my loaner Gimbal and GoPro, I would have all the tools to make fast friends with Utopia and present her in her most flattering light with breathtaking pictures and stories.  It would be easy, the shots of her stunning spaces like Giovanni’s outdoor terrace atop Deck 11 and Chops Grille along Central Park, her brightly colored pool decks, or the whimsy of the Boardwalk — EASY. This story would tell itself.

Finally, the big weekend and glam girl Utopia had arrived and we were ready to set sail!  Surprising no one, my boarding pass wouldn’t scan and my agenda for press activities refused to update in the app.  “I’ve never seen anything like this before” and “let me call in my supervisor” are phrases familiar to me and did nothing to dampen my excitement.  I was rolling with it.  My Utopia updates might not be live, but they would happen and come from a vantage point only the tech-challenged can achieve.

Thankfully my husband Scott is with me as a model, photographer, production assistant and all-around good guy.  After this trip, I’m promoting him to Senior Photographer.  I’m about to learn that my photos, all the ones my people seem to gush over, are actually more often than not, taken by Scott.

We are greeted with big smiles, live music and flutes of champagne- (yes, please!) as we enter Utopia of the Seas for the first time and for the first of her many weekend parties.  The ship is divided into eight different areas or neighborhoods, each with its own vibe and personality.  We find ourselves on Deck 5 in the Royal Promenade neighborhood, a wide avenue lined with shops, light bite cafes & bars.  Later that night, guests will spill out from the Bell & Barley pub, Sorrento’s Pizza, and the Pesky Parrot Tiki Bar for a street party and balloon drop.  And I will be one step behind, crushing the tech, just missing the perfect shot of red balloons wafting through the air synchronized to “99 Luft Ballons”.  But I will capture several minutes of classic footage as I hop aboard a snaking “train” of guests dancing their way down the street, pumping my fist.  No idea that my phone is jerkily recording all of it, although it’s mostly video of my feet, the floor and ceiling of empty balloon nets.

I find the press room tucked away by a bank of express elevators.  This is my first introduction to an elevator with basically no buttons inside and it’s very cool; you select your floor on a keypad, before you ever step into the cab. Wham, Bam the most efficient elevator for your trip is assigned and displayed on the keypad and off you go!  It saves a lot of time by grouping riders and locations together as opposed to your basic up or down.  Shockingly I master the process without incident.  Mastering the GoPro turns out to be a little trickier.

My new friend from production, Norris walks me through the controls “It’s pretty simple” he says.  Kiss of death I think.  “It’s just a couple of buttons, you turn it on here and can toggle through the options by swiping the screen,” he continues.  “Got it. So how do I get the footage transferred to me exactly?” I ask.  Norris smiles, “You just bring it back here and we’ll download it for you.”  Ohhhh, OK.  Here? As in THIS here? Here in the press room with walls of massive monitors where currently several serious looking professionals are combing through videos which are being projected larger than life onto the wall? This may not go well.  “Perfect. Thank you so much,” I lie.  I scurry back to my cabin intending to practice privately and discover the GoPro is rolling, maybe with audio, maybe without. I’ve pressed a lot of buttons.  With growing horror, I’m realizing I can’t turn it off and this footage will be downloaded in the middle of the press room for all to see.  I find Scott on the couch of our stateroom, head down, reading.  I had been intending to shoot the room, its incredibly spacious shower, and the views of the open ocean from our balcony.  But right now, I’ve no idea what I’ve captured up to this point, I’m guessing plenty of plush carpet and possibly the sounds of my squeaky shoes.   I’m frantically waving at him, trying to get his attention, mouthing “HELP”. . .”Turn it off” “Google GoPro OFF” an elaborate pantomime of movie-reel spinning and a finger to my lips, hopefully signaling to help me quietly so my urgent pleas aren’t audible on whatever I might be recording.  I’m willing him to understand what is happening. He’s quick to respond and manages to shut it down.  He’s definitely getting that promotion to Senior Photographer.   I wait a respectable amount of time, before I return to the press room and sheepishly announce the learning curve is going to be a little too steep with the limited amount of time we have.  Lisa is very gracious and with a wink promises to delete everything from the SD card.

My press agenda in the app is slow to update, maybe this is intuitive AI at work and it’s somehow already learned my skill level. I’ll get there eventually, usually with a story to tell. We’ve been invited to dine at Chops Grille, one of the signature specialty restaurants located up on Deck 8 for mouthwatering steaks and delectable desserts.

We check out the map and discover a new way up, an elevator that’s actually a bar named Rising Tide—now, we’re talking! We are in a glass-walled bubble, slowly rising several floors with our specialty cocktails in hand, past cheering crowds playing trivia at Schooner’s and families checking out the day’s photos at Focus, and we are transported to another world. Central Park is a stunning space with a garden of live plants and 20-foot-high trees draped in twinkling lights. The paths are dotted with bistro tables and couples on benches holding hands listening to soft jazz. It is pure magic.

After dinner overlooking the park, it’s on to the Pesky Parrot Tiki Bar, where I can kick back on a cushy porch swing, sip my pretty drink and wait for Brian to call me out. The concept of the Pesky Parrot named Brian is drawn from our shared life experience. It’s all in good fun, says Michael Bayley, president & CEO of Royal Caribbean International.

Courtesy Royal Caribbean

Everybody has one, he says. That one family member, that one uncle or aunt (with some self-reflection I may have to own it) who is the life of the party and tends to drink a little, and as the day wears on, drinks a little more and then drinks a lot—and talks a lot. The lovable but pesky Brian will hang out with guests, and as the day wears on and the drinkers get to drinking, Brian will get to talking and get to talking tipsy. Brian missed our inaugural sailing, no doubt drinking and talking in a bar, but he will be on board soon charming and annoying everyone who comes to visit as only a pesky uncle (or aunt) can.

“It’s going to be wild at Hideaway Beach tomorrow, trust me you don’t want to miss this one” CEO Michael Bayley teases at our press briefing.  With its swim-up bar, luxe private cabanas, and a protected cove of sandy white beach, Hideaway Beach is the newest addition to RCL’s own 120-acre island of chills & thrills in The Bahamas, Perfect Day at CoCo Cay.

I’m up early as the sun peeks above the horizon, bathed in a wash of gold and brilliant orange.  We’re eager to see what surprises are in store for us on island. From our port-side balcony, we’re not able to view the expansive pier, lined with colorful flags, the towering slide of Thrill Waterpark, or the hot-air balloon touted in the brochure.  We hear a young boy crying to his mother on the balcony just below us “That’s not how it’s supposed to look,” he chokes out between sobs.  Don’t worry buddy, you’ve no idea but you are set for YOUR perfect day!  There are 13 water slides and the largest freshwater pool in the Caribbean just out of your sight on the other side of what looks to you like “another pile of rocks” and looks to me like heaven.

Scott is not a fan of heights, so when I asked him if he had interest in zip-lining or a balloon ride which just sayin’ would make for some incredible photos, his response was “not only do I not have interest”, I have “negative interest” in participating in either of these activities.  There will be lots of thrill seekers who will have interest though, including those looking to conquer the tallest waterslide in North America.  And that’s the beauty of the World’s Biggest Weekend cruising on Utopia- there is something for everyone.  Young or old, fit or floppy & flabby, adventurous or relaxed-  this place tees it up for your perfect day and we were about to meet ours.

The morning is indeed perfection, cool waters of the infinity edge pool slip into the horizon blending with the impossibly blue waters of the Caribbean.  As the sun rises higher in the sky and I lazily float toward the swim-up bar, an air of excitement is beginning to build.  The DJ has entered a small hut in the middle of the pool, and the thump of the music is taking hold, and people are starting to gather.  Smiling and laughing, revelers have started moving toward the bar, singing along with a familiar tune.  In unison, we are belting out “Sweet Caroline, times like these never felt. . .so good. . .so good!”  It’s then when I notice Michael Bayley, the Michael Bayley, President & CEO at the edge of the pool.

He moves and is now on top of the bar, making his way toward me with a very large bottle of champagne squeezing a gold trigger-like attachment.  He’s walking along the bar top, bartenders at his back shaking more bottles and spraying them as he fires shots of champagne to the cheering crowd below him.  This is it!  My big opportunity to get the celebratory moment recorded.  Scott is miles away at the far end of the pool.  If anybody is going to get the video, it’s got to be me.  Partially blinded by the bright, mid-day light, I fumble with my phone, turning it to selfie mode and give it my best shot!  The result is hilarious, you can see me motioning I’m ready for my turn of bubbly, bobbing left and right, chasing the bubbles like a terrier, with very little champagne actually making it to my mouth.  It’s just the beginning, Utopia’s first sail and her Biggest Weekend Party will be one of many at Hideaway Beach, and as Bayley predicted- it’s going to be wild!  Wild good fun!

Back on board, we are wowed with an exclusive peek inside several of the Royal suites.  The rooms are special and It feels as though you’re aboard your own private yacht, spectacular views and services just for you.  We’ll definitely be trying our luck at the casino tonight, because this is the way to travel.  The Royal Loft Suite is a jaw-dropping 2,605 square feet of two-story luxury, complete with a private balcony with its own hot tub, and the Ultimate Family Suite with space for up to 9 guests has a movie room and slide to drop in from the loft to the lower floor.  Wow!

We move along to the Boardwalk neighborhood, an area dedicated to big fun- with a full-size carousel, rock-climbing wall, restaurants & shops, and the Aqua Theatre for live shows.  Genius in its design, this section of “interior” staterooms stretching seven decks high can now offer guests balcony views of the Boardwalk and command balcony rates.  And the Boardwalk is where we will let the good times roll for our BIG Weekend Finale.  Flashing my press badge, we’re admitted to the private naming party & concert.  The legendary RevRun and DJ Ruckus get things fired up and we along with most of the screaming crowd erupt and accept the invitation to: “Jump Around, Jump Around”!  And as the sun sets on the aft of ship, Grammy Award winning artist and Godmother Meghan Trainor takes the stage and delivers with a breathtakingly beautiful performance to officially christen, UTOPIA OF THE SEAS!! Champagne is flowing and confetti is flying and our spirits are high.

Now this is what dreams and big weekends are made of, and we are ready for more!